There is this teaching that buddhists follow. Being free of material and physical desire leads to true happiness. Something like that I think. Throughout my life I have come to know that is true. I haven't had very many spectacular things like clothes, furniture, clothes, etc. My family isn't the richest family in the world so we've had to make due with just the old and the little things. We live in a decent house, a lot of things are hand me downs from my grandparents, and / or neighbors we know.

My mom and dad have always had trouble with finding and keeping jobs, or sometimes the jobs can't pay them for some reason. Its been a struggle throughout my life but I've always been happy. Satisfaction has always come very easy to me, I've always been happy with what I have, not thinking about what I don't have or what I could have. It was hard a little for me when I was in my early teens  I guess a little. Watching all the girls around me wear fashionable clothes, that wore off though. I've never truly wanted any of that. My love stays with things that can be forever with me.

My family has never bought really expensive, cars, clothes, TV, computers, etc. The stuff we do buy we either get from sails, or we make them ourselves.

throughout my life I have been watching other people. I've come to realize that people like my family, people that don't really desire material things and don't rely on physical desires, people that don't care about money are a lot happier. As I go through my daily life I see countless people that lust after money, clothes, material possessions that they think will bring them happiness but in the end they always end up unsatisfied and unhappy. It seems to be that he world just wats more and more these days. We never slow down, we never think about the more beautiful things in life. Everyone should just stop and look at what is around them. There are more important things than what the world seems to be occupied with these days.

Nature, music, the friends around me are what I value most, experiences, fun times, family, stuff like that is truly important to me, the other things are just on the sidelines an are nice every once in a while.  Being able to spill out my thoughts like this to countless people, to express myself, to be myself, times like this are really special to me too, which is why I love blogging so much.

About physical desires,  I feel like we rely on them to much. this world seems to revolve around sex these days and i feel like that is causing part of our unhappiness as well. It is true that to much of a good thing can be bad and i'm sorry to say that the world these days is sorely over doing the subject of sex, we need to tone it down a lot. you can't even watch TV without getting bombarded by sexual messages and implications it seems like nothing is family safe these days. I'm sorry to all of you that must love sex and / or sexual related things but really go do something else, some of you are dwelling on it to much.  Its disgusting really.

Yeah, so mainly my message is try to live without physical, or material things once in a while, don't let the rule your life, go out and explore nature, and music, and stuff like that.

As winter sneaks upon me
its winds just blowing softly
cradling me forever in its embrace
the stars are up above me
I can hear the song of the wind
singing me its sweet lullaby

Forever never ends
time never bends or stops
winter dances for me
turning turning, passing, coming
sweet embrace, a wondrous dream
things are not as they seem they've changed

Let down your snow
cry for me and I will comfort you
your not alone, your not alone
dance for me and be free
no one loves you like i do
you're shunned but not by me.

eternity calls us, my sweet winter
this is our eternity just you and me
I can see you dancing there
twirling, turning, ever so graceful
I will embrace you so you're not alone
if you ask you can have all of me

Reminiscent of the past
I toss in my sleep
Every night I dream of you
A ghost of the past awakening
From the shadows of hell
I dream of you I dream of you
I can still taste his bittersweet love
A once beautiful dream faded
Now shackled to my heart
A once forgotten love awakened

My heart screams for you
My thoughts yearn for you
You torture me
This is my infinity
My curse my hell, my love for you

Every night I see your face
An image seered into my mind
into my heart, into my soul
no one knows my pain
my oblivion is near
I see you with her and I cry
I just want you to be mine again.

My heart Bleeds for you
My thoughts scream for you
You kill me
This is my infinity
My song only for you.

I hear the metal clank
as i carry this burden
my feelings for you, my prison
the moon does not shine for us
the stars have faded
a once forgotten love within
a struggling demon
my love for you, my prison
this is my infinity, my forever curse.

My heart cries for you
My thoughts search for you
You loved me
This is my infinity
My dance, my passion only for you
My thoughts are filled with you
This is my infinity
this is my infinity